The One I Truly Love
by Remember Cedric Diggory
Summary: Lily Potter is in love. At least she thinks she is. What happens when she realizes that she's not happy with the man she thinks she loves? And who is the new object of her attraction?


Sometimes life doesn't go just like you planned. There are always going to be dreams not realized, or ones that were realized too late. There are the changes you didn't take, the risks that just weren't meant to be taken. Then there's love. With all the billions of people in the world, there is a very small chance that you will find the "one you're meant to be with." The chance of that is the chance of a snowball in hell. There are lots of some ones, and you just have to pick the best one. But what if you pick the wrong one? What if, looking back later, you realize that "the one" was there all along? What if you were too blind to see it?

But what if you had a second chance? If you could go back, would you make it all better? Would you make the same mistake?

When a second chance comes along, grab it, and don't you dare let it go.

* * *

Lily Evans sat in her elegant apartment, gazing into the fire. She was thinking. It seemed that lately she was doing much more of that than usual. She wasn't unhappy in the least. In fact, she was happier than she had been in a long time.

Jacob Brenner was the very essence of what she had always dreamed of in a mate. He was clever, handsome, and outrageously funny. She hadn't been in a sour mood since Merlin knows when. Until now. Damn it, why did she start to reminisce _now_ of all times? She had all but forgotten her first love... No, it wasn't even really love, she thought. Love is when they love you back. He had never loved her back. But now, when she was finally happy, when all she had been waiting for had finally come true, when Jacob had proposed, why had these thoughts come back, _now_? A foolish schoolgirl crush, that's all it was. You're being dumb, Lily, she reprimanded herself. He never cared for you like Jacob does. Never. There are no second chances in life. Move on. You won't ever see him again.

Satisfied with her reasoning, crude as it was, Lily Evans headed to bed

She would face it all in the morning. After all, tomorrow is another day. Come rain or shine, by Merlin she would figure it out.  
But when it came to be the next morning, she never thought about it. The whirl of color that was her life swooped in and saved her from her misery. In fact, she didn't think about it for quite a while. That is, until she received a reminder in the most unusual of spaces.

Casually glancing through the usual mess of junk mail and bills she received by owl two weeks after the evening by the fire Lily by chance came across an invitation. The envelope was made of beautiful looking parchment paper, with gorgeous calligraphy running across the page. The whole feel of it was one that command utmost respect, if an envelope could command respect. Ripping it open she read the letter written in the usual fancy script. When your fiancé is chums with the Minister of Magic, you receive quite a few invitations for various events. She really had to be choosy about which ones she went to.

A masquerade ball to be held by the Ministry of Magic on New Year's Eve? Why, that would be so much fun! She could go as. . . But wait, she thought. Jacob would never go for it. Never would he do anything as immature as going in matching costumes. She would just have to think of something clever. That's it, she thought. That's perfect! She rushed off to go shopping. Though she wouldn't have a partner for her costume, it would still be effective. She could get the point across, how she felt inside, how much she craved attention by dressing as this stunning woman from one of the world's greatest romance novels. Heaven only knows that finding the right shade of green fabric for this would be completely impossible. Let alone the trimming…

Lily spent many more lonely nights in her apartment in the next few days. Jacob had to rush off for an important ministry meeting, confidential of course. There weren't even any friends to talk to. Lily hadn't even spoken to most of her friends since Hogwarts. No time, she supposed. Lonely nights meant time to think, and that was the last thing she needed. Thinking meant remembering and remembering brought back memories. Memories she had chosen to forget a long time ago, memories that should have been buried by the sands of time. Back then she was nothing but a hormone-driven teenager. What did she know about love then?

Her head told her different though. The way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, even just the sound of his chuckle drifting down the hallway to her ears after one of his friends cracked a joke. Whenever she was around him it was sheer bliss. And he never gave her a second thought. That was years ago though. She was happy now. And now is all that matters, isn't it?

"Lily, I'm home," was the call she received. Her eyes perked up, but immediately shot downward. For a minute, she almost believed that it was him. That he had finally come to her. But you fool! It's Jacob. You shouldn't be distressed. You love him! You will spend the rest of your life with him. Hopeless dreaming will get you nowhere in the real world. Jacob leaned down to kiss his fiancé, but she broke it off quickly.

It wasn't the same. There was less passion in the kiss. She wasn't as attracted to him anymore. Though she had never kissed anyone before Jacob, she knew when her heart wasn't in something. And it really wasn't. It wasn't fair to Jacob for her to be unfaithful, even if she was physically faithful. Pretending he was someone else was just as bad. She could never do that to him. She cared about him too much. Maybe not as much as she did before, but she did care.

And that's the problem, she realized. I only care about him. I don't really love him. But this must just be nonsense. I'm just nervous about the wedding that's coming up. I do love him. I do, and nothing will get in my way. I will marry this man and we will be together- 'Til death do us part.

"My darling will you be going with me to the ball? All the ministry officials and their dates will be there. Surely you must have heard of it?" Jacob asked Lily.

"Yes, I have. I would love to go. I've been waiting for it for quite a while."

"I must insist that we do not match though." Jacob put in. "I refuse to be brought down to the level of those common fools. I will look respectable. My dignity will never be lost."

Lily cast her eyes down. "Whatever you want. I know you wouldn't dream of doing such a thing. I never expected you to."

Jacob sent his fiancé a measuring glance. "You won't need to match me. Matching costumes would just bring you down. Now, you don't want to match someone like me do you? You will look absolutely radiant by yourself you know. You always do."

"Jacob, I'm not feeling very well. Would you mind continuing this conversation tomorrow? I would love to hear how your trip went."

"And I can't wait to tell you everything. Farewell my shining star."

"Adieu my prince."

The fateful day arrived. Lily and Jacob arrived in a small carriage together, though they sat on opposite sides of the carriage at Lily's request. She didn't want to ruffle her gown, nor did she want him to interrupt her thoughts. She didn't tell him the second part of her thoughts of course. He didn't question her though, so the carriage ride went in silence.

Suddenly she remembered something. Something that had been pushing at the edges of her mind. Something that would destroy the last of love she had for Jacob.

She told him she loved him. Seventh year, minutes before graduation. The boy who had pulled pranks on all the teachers, the only one Peeves got along with. The boy who had turned into a man. Lily confessed her love for him, and he had turned away. Oh, but she hadn't missed the smile.

And now Lily realized that no matter what she did to try to forget him, that man would be forever etched in her mind. She wouldn't ever he happy with anybody but him. Only him.

The ball flew by in a swirl of lights and color. Lily spoke with friends she hadn't spoken with for six years like they had all only graduated yesterday. Jacob spent time with the ministry bigwigs, introducing his gorgeous bride-to-be on occasions.

But Lily was left to her own devices most of the time. It was during one of those interludes that she spotted the man who had been in her thoughts nonstop since her engagement. And it wasn't her fiancé. He was wearing a mask, but the aura around his was unforgettable. She longed to cry out, to yell to him to hold on to her and never let go. The only thing holding her mouth still was the vague and fading memory of her fiancé.

The second to last song of the year was playing. Lily sat out, not wanting to join in the large crowd swirling across the floor. Though she seemed to radiate confidence, the thing she dreaded most was being right there with everyone else. She had to be alone. For her own sanity.

The faint chords and even fainter lyrics floated to her. It was another mass-produced song with generic lyrics. Completely unoriginal, but yet... She strained, listening for the chorus just one more time. Yes, those are the words she was looking for. _We're together but still alone. _The words described exactly how she felt. She was together with Jacob, but she never was really with him. She had never connected with him; she had never felt like they belonged together. She went off to her fiancé to say the words she had never told him in the year they had been together.

Lily remembered nothing of the walk to find Jacob, or of the last song of the year. All she remembers after her revelation was the countdown, and the events afterward.

10

"Jacob, I have to tell you something."

9

"But can't it wait until after the countdown…"

8

"Lily dearest?"

7

"Jacob, no. I have to say it."

6

"Now. These words need to be said."

5

"Hush, dearest, we will start the New Year out,"

4

"Like we should, Lily. Just you and I."

3

Lily said nothing. He wouldn't believe her anyway.

2

1

"Happy New Year dearest Lily."

"And the same to you Jacob."

Jacob leaned in to get his New Year's kiss. Exactly a year since their very first kiss. He tried to deepen the kiss, but to no avail as Lily pushed him away.

"I tried to tell you before. It's over Jacob. I can't go on pretending."

Sliding the large diamond engagement ring off her finger, she said, "I believe this is yours." And having said that, she left her fiancé with his mouth open in horror.

Walking across the room, urgency ringing with every footstep, she searched for her first and only true love. She walked straight up to him and said, "I need to tell you something."

James Potter turned around to see a lovely red-head in an elegant green dress. He felt as though it was fate that had dressed them in matching costumes. Lily, in her stunning green dress with striking green eyes, looked like Scarlett O'Hara in the flesh. "Lily! I need to tell you something first. Lily I…"  
Lily looked at the man she had loved since she was but a young school girl. In his dashing Panama hat and spotless suit, he looked just like Rhett Butler. What were the chances that they would end up in matching costumes? She knew at once that he was the one. He wouldn't be afraid to dress in matching costumes, and he wouldn't be afraid to have fun with her.

She tried to speak at the same time and just managed to get in "James I…"

"I love you," they finally said together.

Then they stood back and stared at each other. Both saw a shocked look on the other's face, but James recovered first.

"Now that that's settled, may I have my good luck New Year's kiss? The one I've been waiting six years for? I loved you too you know. What you don't know is that I wanted to tell you that back when you told me you loved me the first time. McGonagall had to see me, and I never had a chance to find you. The smile wasn't making fun of you. It was making fun of myself for not telling you that I loved you, and for not realizing that maybe you loved me back."

And wrapping her arms around his neck, Lily kissed him with all her heart and soul.

* * *

A/N: And there you go. My heart written in words for the reader, namely you. I sincerely hope my words have touched that very back corner of your being. And yes, I'm aware it's not really what my usual writing style, but I was really inspired, and so I just sat down and wrote this. I'm really quite proud of it. And special thanks go to Funnykido, the best beta-er anyone could ask for. Even if I DIDN'T always listen to her. I hope you guys got the hints I put about the costumes and such. I didn't want it to be entirely predictable, and I also didn't want it to be really obscure. Also, you guys have to know that I love Gone with the Wind, which is of course where the costumes come from. I hope you guys all knew that. The green fabric was from the dress Scarlett made from the curtains. So I hope that wasn't completely weird. I also need you guys to know that this seriously took every ounce of being out of me, and it could be a while before I make another fanfic like this. If any of you have any ideas, I would be more than happy to take them and run. 


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